Rogue Reverend

Scandals, Cycles, and Sex

I’m preaching on sex this Sunday. I can’t figure out what to say. So I’ve been reading a lot.

This morning (thanks to Amy Butler for a facebook update idea) I read about Ted Haggard’s latest misery. If you don’t remember Haggard, he was the leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, pastor of a mega-church in Colorado, and an anti-gay activist, preaching against homosexuality and gay marriage. He is in a cycle of misery. His latest? Another gentleman speaking out about his sexual relationship with Haggard.

Haggard obviously makes me angry, because of the hypocrisy of his stance. And on a deeper level, it kills me that anyone can be so hateful and exclusive to a group of loving people.

But even more than angry, Haggard makes me sad. When we fight who we are, are dishonest about who we are and what we do, and cannot bear for the world to see us as we are, well, I just can’t imagine any worse feeling. Feeling lonely, dirty, and ultimately, like a piece of shit, sucks.

Haggard, in a letter to his church, wrote, “There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I’ve been warring against it all of my adult life….”

How do we combat that? How do we fight that feeling? First, we take off the mask, not only to ourselves, but also to those who love us. Second, we begin to understand that we are not alone feeling the way that we do. We seek others who have worked through those same feelings. And third, we allow people to love us. When we see that we are lovable, we begin to see that we can love ourselves, and the cycle goes on and we accept more love and feel more love and give more love.

Accept more love, feel more love, and give more love. Now there’s a cycle I can live with.

Yes! Yes! and Yes!

My friend, Malcolm Marler, is the chaplain at the 1917 Clinic in Birmingham, Alabama. The 1917 Clinic is an HIV/AIDS clinic, and Malcolm has been working to provide compassionate care for folks with HIV/AIDS before treating them with compassion was cool. Malcolm pretty much rocks.

He wrote this in his blog today:

One day I was asked by one of our nurses if I would talk with a single mom in her 30′s in one of our exam rooms who was recently diagnosed with advanced HIV disease and “was crying a lot.” I seemed to get called for a lot of these situations.

I walked in, introduced myself, and sat down.

She could hardly talk through her tears. After a few minutes she stopped her tears and blurted out, “I just want to know the answer to three questions:

1. Does God still love me?

2. Will anybody ever love me again?

3. Will I ever get another hug?”

I think Malcolm is on to something here, when he goes on to say that these are the questions that we all ask every day. Does God still love me? Will anyone ever love me again? Will I ever get another hug?

I know it’s what I wonder when I look at pieces of my life…

Those are the questions that I ask when I really look deeply into who I have been, who I want to be, and how I have been. They are the questions I ask when I start thinking about my history and sharing it with people. And they are the questions I ask when I put myself out there in a new way, whether in a new relationship or a new job search or a new position.

I want to believe that the answers are Yes! Yes! and Yes! But even more than believing with my head that the answers are Yes! Yes! and Yes!, I want to feel in my heart that the answers are Yes! Yes! and Yes!

That is my prayer today.

Get Thee to Church!

The Rogue Reverend is not a typical Christian. Lest you be deceived, most Christians aren’t as cool as Lia. Do not assume that because you like the Rogue Reverend, Christians are cool. Do not rush to your local church looking for friends like the Rogue Reverend.

However, there are some good reasons for finding a local church. For instance, if doctors have determined that a weekly dose of transubstantiated Jesus through a communion wafer and grape juice is the only cure for the leprosy that is threatening to eat away your nose, you should find a church. What about when all your friends disown you, and you need a group of friends motivated completely by guilt and Christian submission to put up with your narcissistic and abusive tendencies? Find a church. Perhaps you’ve come to such a place of acceptance of yourself that there is no external motivation for you to become more perfect. You need a portion of guilt, whether through Scripture reading and preaching, or just the general pathos of Christianity that expects you to like everyone, let everyone be mean to you, and feel like you’re just not good enough, dammit. Your local church is perfect for this.

In such extreme cases, it’s obvious that you need church. However, a church similar to the church where the Rogue Reverend pastors is not the kind of church you need. You need what is commonly known as a “conservative” church.

The following list will facilitate your avoidance of a church like the Rogue Reverend’s.

First, you must stay away from churches that say things like “all people,” “inclusive,” or “affirming.” Run like hell if you see these words.

Second, if you see a female pastor in any role other than “minister of women,” or “director of children,” you’re in the wrong place. In fact, other than participation in the music, women should have no role in the worship service. This includes ushers, deacons, lay leaders, and anyone who reads during church. The Bible is clear on the role of women in church. They should be seen and not heard, unless it’s singing.

Third, you’re going to get what you need in a church that is predominantly white. An African-American church will run the risk of preaching equality and justice. White churches are much better at espousing Republican family-value issues.

Seriously, folks.

There are really Christians out there who believe like the Rogue Reverend. There are people in church WHERE YOU LIVE who believe like I do, who care like I do, who are willing to deal with the difficult issues of today, and end up on the side of grace, love and acceptance. And heck, who may even believe (or not believe!) like you do!

I don’t know all the churches in your area, but if you are thinking about finding a church, check out a few things:

• Mainstream denominations, which include Presbyterian Churches of the United States of America (PCUSA), Alliance of Baptists, Episcopal (although you do have to research a little, and make sure that they’re not leaning towards the Anglican side, which is the anti-gay side), United Churches of Christ (UCC), and Disciples of Christ.
• If you are unsure of your own feelings about God, whether you are Christian or not, and think you want a safe place to figure that out, especially without the Christian language, check out your local Unitarian Universalist Church. Diversity is the name of the game in UU, and you’ll definitely find someone in the congregation who shares your views.
• Don’t assume that all ministers are anti-choice, homophobic, Republican, pro-war, or believe that the way they believe (about God and politics) is the only way to believe. It’s just not true. Congregations usually have a wide variation of political views, though, and the pastor may not bring up their divergent views from the pulpit.

The most important thing to do if you’re thinking about finding a community is listen to yourself. If you feel judged, leave. If you find yourself feeling faint because they’ve just used 72 masculine words for God and not one singular feminine one, it’s probably not a good match. But don’t give up. Try a different church next week.

You might look at me and ask, “Why should I go to church, Lia?” And honestly, I struggle with that question every day. But here’s why I go: community.

I have belonged to one community or another for the last 13 years, and I have received so much acceptance from them that they have impacted my life for the better. And you know the other thing? Those same communities gave me opportunities to offer that same acceptance.

MLK and the “Irrelevant Social Club,” a.k.a. Church

Every Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I take some time to read Dr. King’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail. Although I was raised all over the southeast, Birmingham is home for me.

Nine years ago, I was leading a mission trip to El Salvador, and had arranged for our team to visit the final home of Monsignor Romero, and the chapel where he was killed. We also went to the UCA, spoke with Jon Sobrino, the Jesuit priest who narrowly escaped death during the Salvadoran civil war. It was a day filled with martyrs, being thankful for the sacrifice they had given, for the example they gave, for the love they showed.

I went home to my hotel room that night, sat in front of the Spanish television, and watched all of Spike Lee’s movie, Four Little Girls, recounting the story of the young martyrs of Birmingham, Alabama. People I knew were filmed talking about their relationships with the little girls. And I’d had no idea.

This is one of the most significant moments of my life. I’m not sure if I didn’t pay enough attention to my hometown, or if I willingly disregarded  the pain in my own neighborhood, or if I was just ignorant about the fight in Birmingham, but I vowed to change that. One way is by reading MLK’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail. And every time I read it, I glean something else from it.

Tonight, it was this:

But the judgment of God is upon the church as never before. If today’s church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century. Every day I meet young people whose disappointment with the church has turned into outright disgust.

I wonder if that’s why the church feels so disconnected for me. It feels like an “irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century.” In fact, so much of the church marketing of the 80′s, 90′s, and 00′s has been about making sure that your congregation is a “social club,” although the marketing materials call them “affinity groups.” They told us that they way to success as a church was by putting like-minded people together.

The most REAL relationships I have are with people who I don’t agree with. They are people that I cannot fully understand, because our worldviews are different. We try to understand, but we bump up against differences, and have to decide, over and over again, “I may not understand, but I love.”

MLK continues about the Church:

Perhaps I have once again been too optimistic. Is organized religion too inextricably bound to the status quo to save our nation and the world? Perhaps I must turn my faith to the inner spiritual church, the church within the church, as the true ekklesia and the hope of the world. But again I am thankful to God that some noble souls from the ranks of organized religion have broken loose from the paralyzing chains of conformity and joined us as active partners in the struggle for freedom. They have left their secure congregations and walked the streets of Albany, Georgia, with us. They have gone down the highways of the South on tortuous rides for freedom. Yes, they have gone to jail with us. Some have been dismissed from their churches, have lost the support of their bishops and fellow ministers. But they have acted in the faith that right defeated is stronger than evil triumphant. Their witness has been the spiritual salt that has preserved the true meaning of the gospel in these troubled times. They have carved a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disappointment.

I think Dr. King answers his rhetorical question, ” Is organized religion too inextricably bound to the status quo to save our nation and the world?” with the answer, “No.” Every time it stands up for something right, every time it refuses to limit God, every time it opens the doors of the church wider, every time it expands it’s understanding to include all people, every time we try to understand, but we bump up against differences and say, “I may not understand, but I love.”

That church? I want to belong to that church.

Sermon: Six Words

I Samuel 3:1-10; John 1:43-51

The National Constitution Center has been having a contest, called Address America: Six Words to Inspire a Nation. The rules are thus: write a six-word inaugural speech. All the winners would be submitted to Barack Obama and his speech-writing team. Here’s one of my favorites: These are testing times, study hard. Another favorite: Invest in civic energy. It’s renewable. The winning six-word inaugural speech is, “Divided by fear, united in hope.”

As the week went on, I discovered that there were many threads running through the week.  Martin Luther King, Jr. day is Monday. Barack Obama is being inaugurated Tuesday, beginning at 10 a.m. An airplane crash-landed into the Hudson River on Thursday afternoon, and everyone survived. Plus, I’ve been reading Truman, the biography by David McCullough. Add that to the economy and what’s happening in Gaza. And then, to boot, I watched the movie Helvetica last Sunday. Yep, a movie about a typeface. Not a font, as was pointed out to me, that’s what’s on your computer, but a typeface.

So I set about thinking about a six-word inaugural speech for all of the people and events running through my head.
More »