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Getting Rid of God: Ash Wednesday

February 25th, 2009 | 2 Comments | Posted in Lent

II Corinthians 5:20 “We entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”

Within each of us are contradictions. We are both afraid and hopeful about the future. We are both angry and happy at the state of the world. We are both hungry and sated each day. We listen to our hearts and our minds. We are funny and serious. Giving and selfish. Smart and stupid. At our core, we are dichotomous. We hold forth opposite truths at the same time.

But holding forth opposite truths can be exhausting. Loving and hating your brother can take a toll. Being selfish and giving can make you like a puppy chasing your tail. Being brilliant and ridiculously stupid is like writing a profound statement and misspelling half of the words.

Reconciliation brings resolution to these things.

There are two definitions of the word reconciliation. The first, most used in an accounting or auditing context, is what we talk about when we reconcile our checkbooks. We compare two numbers to demonstrate the basis for the difference between them, or we balance debits, credits, and totals between two systems. The second definition, used mostly in a theological or relational sense is the reestablishing of friendly relations, either between two individuals or between God and humanity.

Our Scripture today says, “be reconciled to God.” But how can we be reconciled to God when we are not reconciled within our heads and hearts, when we are not reconciled with our brothers and sisters, and when our thinking about God and our feelings about God do not match?

This Lenten season, I have but one request: that I be able to reconcile my head and my heart, reconcile with my friends and those who would be enemies, and reconcile with God. For me, that means expanding my heart and my mind to accept the contradictions in myself and in others, and especially in God.

I am not reconciled to them because my vision is not big enough.

My Lenten prayer, that I be able to reconcile my head and my heart, reconcile with my friend and those who would be enemies, and reconcile with God, starts with a simple prayer from Meister Eckhart. He said, “I pray that God rid me of God.”

In effect, I am giving up God for Lent. At least, giving up the God I think I know, and leaving room for a bigger vision of this Source.

Throughout the 40 days, I’d ask that you pray the same, that God rid you of God. Take a few minutes today to center on the prayer, “Please, God, rid me of God.”

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Shrove Tuesday

February 23rd, 2009 | 1 Comment | Posted in church

Also known as Fat Tuesday.

The day to eat pancakes. Drink beer to excess. Eat lots of chocolate. Do everything you will feel guilty about if you during the time of Lent.

Resist. Resist! Do not go gently into that good night! Quit feeling guilty about enjoying life. Quit feeling bad that you love things. Enjoy those things. Enjoy all that God has made.

Really.

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Sometimes Sadness…

February 16th, 2009 | 7 Comments | Posted in humanity

Many of my friends are sad right now. Some have lost someone they love. Some are overwhelmed with financial issues. Some have lost faith. Some have lost love. Some are scared about health issues. Some are missing friends and loved ones far away. Some feel far from home.

Grace describes how it feels when that deep well of sadness is tapped by her acupuncturist:

“Here?” He touches me lightly just where the bottom of my sternum dives down between my ribs. Holy. My face contorts to a sob like someone pulled shut the drawstring of a purse. “Ah,” he says softly. He pulls his hand away. “Take a breath.”

I take a breath. I talk to myself like I talk to the beginning yoga students in my Wednesday night class. Breath in: let the heart be lifted. The very tip of the needle feels like a flaming arrow hitting bullseye. I sob, out loud this time. He pulls back. Touches again with the pad of his fingertip. It feels so deep, this hole, a fontanelle above my heart.

Sometimes the sadness of others sucks me into a deep hole. Sometimes the sadness of others makes me shake my fist at God. Sometimes the sadness of others fills my heart. Sometimes the sadness of others makes me want to curl up in a ball. Sometimes the sadness of others spurs me to action.

Today, as I felt that deep sob that Grace described, I realized that the sadness of others is mingled with the sadness of my own, and I cannot tell the difference.

For you, I pray for peace. For you, I pray for comfort. For you, I pray for quiet. For you, I pray for strength. For me, I pray the same. Amen.

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How To Be An Ally to Sex Workers

February 15th, 2009 | 1 Comment | Posted in humanity

This is from SWOP, the Sex Workers Outreach Project-Chicago, a Chicago community of sex workers.

For those of you in professional ministry, this is a great list of “How-To’s” for any community.

1. Don’t Assume. Don’t assume you know why a person is in the sex industry. We’re not all trafficked or victims of abuse. Some people make a choice to enter this industry because they enjoy it, others may be struggling for money and have less of a choice.

2. Be Discreet and Respect Personal Boundaries. If you know a sex worker, it’s OK to engage in conversation in dialogue with them in private, but respect their privacy surrounding their work in public settings.  Don’t ask personal questions such as “does your family know what you do?” If a sex worker is not “out” to their friends, family, or co-workers, it’s not your place to tell everyone what they do.

3. Don’t Judge. Know your own prejudices and realize that not everyone shares the same opinions as you. Whether you think sex work is a dangerous and exploitative profession or not is irrelevant compared to the actual experiences of the person who works in the industry. It’s not your place to pass judgment on how another person earns the money they need to survive.

4. Watch Your Language. Cracking jokes or using derogatory terms such as “hooker”, “whore”, “slut”, or “ho” is not acceptable. While some sex workers have “taken back” these words and use them among themselves, they are usually used to demean sex workers when spoken by outsiders.

5. Address Your Prejudices. If you have a deep bias or underlying fear that all sex workers are bad people and/or full of diseases, then perhaps these are issues within yourself that you need to address.  In fact, the majority of sex workers practice safer sex than their peers and get tested regularly.

6. Don’t Play Rescuer. Not all sex workers are trying to get out of the industry or in need of help. Ask them what they need, but not everyone is looking for “Captain Save-A-Ho” or the “Pretty Woman” ending.

7. [Respect financial and professional boundaries.] If you are a client or patron of sex workers, be respectful of boundaries. You’re buying a service, not a person. Don’t ask for real names, call at all hours of the day/night, or think that your favorite sex worker is going to enter into a relationship with you off the clock.

8. Do Your Own Research. Most mainstream media is biased against sex workers and the statistics you read in the news about the sex industry are usually inaccurate. Be critical of what you read or hear and educate yourself on who exactly is transmitting diseases or being trafficked.

9. Respect that Sex Work is Real Work. There’s a set of professional skills involved and it’s not necessarily an industry that everyone can enter into. Don’t tell someone to get a “real job” when they already have one that suits them just fine.

10. Just because someone is a sex worker doesn’t mean they will have sex with you. Not matter what area of the sex industry that someone works in, don’t assume that they are promiscuous and willing to have sex with anyone at any time.

11. Be Supportive and Share Resources. If you know of someone who is new to the industry or in an abusive situation with an employer, by all means offer advice and support without being condescending. Some people do enter into the sex industry without educating themselves about what they are getting into and may need help. Despite the situation, calling the police is usually never a good option. Try to find other organizations that are sensitive to the needs of sex workers by contacting the organizations listed below.

12. As you learn the above things, stand up for sex workers when conversations happen. Share your personal stories if you so choose.  Don’t let the stigma, bigotry and shame around sex work continue.  Remember it’s important that sex workers be allowed to speak for themselves and for allies to not speak for sex workers but to speak with sex workers.

Realize that sex work transcends ‘visible’ notions of race, gender, class, sexuality, education, and identities; sex workers are your sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, lovers, and friends. Respect them!

Get Active! Contact your local SWOP Chapter to find out what you can do or form your own in the city you live in.

This list composed by the members and allies of Sex Workers Outreach Project-Chicago.


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Find Your Spouse in Church

February 13th, 2009 | 2 Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

If you are single, church is a great place to meet other singles. *cough, cough* According to Clare Ward, an official from the Catholic Church in the U.K.:

“There is a lot of evidence to suggest that young people who have tapped into prayer groups have found partners,” she said.

“Those who have exhausted traditional routes like online dating should try spiritual networks.

“Why not come along to a prayer group - it could be your lucky night.”

All my life I’ve heard that I’m going to meet the man of my dreams in church. So far, I’ve found men who are liars, goobers, dorks, and married,  and some with so much religious baggage that they couldn’t deal with me being a pastor. It makes me wonder what kind of dreams people think I have.

But seriously. Don’t go to church to meet men. Go to church to have an authentic meeting with community, with God, or even with yourself.

And if they tell you that you’ll meet the person of your dreams in church, run like hell.

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