Rogue Reverend

More about Draupadi (from That Sermon!)

In a modern novel about Draupadi, The Palace of Illusions, Draupadi describes her childhood like this:

Through the long, lonely years of my childhood, when my father’s palace seemed to tighten its grip around me until I couldn’t breathe, I would go to my nurse and ask for a story. And though she knew many wondrous and edifying tales, the one I made her tell me over and over was the story of my birth. I think I liked it so much because it made me feel special, and in those days there was little else in my life that did. Perhaps [my nurse] realized this. Perhaps that was why she agreed to my demands even though we both knew I should be using my time more gainfully, in ways more befitting the daughter of Kind Drupad, ruler of Panchaal, one of the richest kingdoms in the continent of Bharat.

The story inspired me to make up fancy names for myself: Offspring of Vengeance, or the Unexpected One. But [my nurse] puffed out her cheeks at my tendency to drama, calling me the Girl Who Wasn’t Invited. Who knows, perhaps she was more accurate than I.

Draupadi is eventually married to five brothers, the oldest of which has a gambling problem. He loses everything, including his brothers, and himself in a dice game. Then he loses Draupadi. Draupadi is dragged before the court, all of the evil men who have been cheating at dice all day, attempt to humiliate, shame and degrade her. It is there that we see her true power. Again, from the Palace of Illusions:

The worst shame a woman could imagine was about to befall me—I who had thought myself above all harm, the proud and cherished wife of the greatest kings of our time! Now they sat frozen as I struggled… The sorceress had said, When in great trouble, rest your mind on someone who loves you…

Then—maybe because there was no one else who could help—I thought of Krishna. He owed me nothing; we were not related. Perhaps that was why I could fix my mind on him without being swept away by the anger that arises from expectation. I thought of his smile, the way it would appear on his face for no reason. The sounds of the courtroom faded…Suddenly I was in a garden. There were swans in a lake, a tree that arched above, dropping blue flowers, the sound of water falling as though the world had no end. The wind smelled of sandalwood. Krishna sat beside me on a cool stone bench. His glance was bright and tender. No one can shame you, he said, if you don’t allow it.

No one can shame you if you don’t allow it.