Rogue Reverend

Leaving Sex Work

Yeah, I know, I didn’t really LEAVE sex work, since I wasn’t exactly in sex work. But in some ways, I was…

I announced that I was leaving Star Light in the end of December, although I actually resigned from my position in late October. So now I’m technically 6 months out of it. I wish that leaving sex work was linear and that I could name for you all the process that you go through, but it’s just not that easy.

But there are a few things that I’ve gone through that seem to be similar to leaving sex work. These are the things that I have gone through:

Attention from men seems annoying, at best.
Tolerance for said attention is nearly gone.
I have a lot of fear about going “legitimate.” Will anyone want to hire me?
Finding fulfillment in my work is difficult. I miss sex work!
It’s easy to get drawn back in. (I’m still doing stuff!)
I miss the community.

What’s your experience?

Learning from the Other Side

Some of you know that I’m on Twitter. I have to admit that I find it difficult to put my thoughts together in more than 140 characters now, so bear with me.

I have two great and interesting types of people I follow on Twitter. The first are sex workers and advocates (shout out, ya’ll!), and the second are emergent-type church folks.

What exactly is emergent church? Who the hell knows?

Here’s what Christianity Today (not one of my favorite magazines, by the way) says:

It is said that emerging Christians confess their faith like mainliners—meaning they say things publicly they don’t really believe. They drink like Southern Baptists—meaning, to adapt some words from Mark Twain, they are teetotalers when it is judicious. They talk like Catholics—meaning they cuss and use naughty words. They evangelize and theologize like the Reformed—meaning they rarely evangelize, yet theologize all the time. They worship like charismatics—meaning with their whole bodies, some parts tattooed. They vote like Episcopalians—meaning they eat, drink, and sleep on their left side. And, they deny the truth—meaning they’ve got a latte-soaked copy of Derrida in their smoke- and beer-stained backpacks.

As I understand it, though, the emergent church movement is about evangelicalism losing it’s certitude, becoming more open to ambiguity, and worrying less about who is “in” and who is “out.” Which, of course, can’t be a bad thing.

But back in the day (2005), there was also something called the emerging church, which seemed different than the emergent church. Where the emergent church was conservative evangelicals moving more towards the middle, the emerging church was liberal or progressives moving toward the middle. They may have merged into one movement, I don’t know. And just for the record, the emergent/emerging church seems to have become another program to build church, which, of course, seems antithetical.

But here’s how it is in my life: I walked away from evangelicalism years ago, tossed it all out, and the emerging church was my way of struggling to keep any bit of my tradition. So I’ve begun listening to the emergent movement.

Today I listened to a sermon by Jay Bakker, of Revolution NYC, also of One Punk Under God, and the son of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. I have to say, it was good. Bakker quoted one of my favorites, Will Campbell, I think from Soul Among Lions, and he really, really has an amazing hold on God’s love for us. As Bakker said, “Jesus love us and wants to make a mixed tape for us.”

I recommend a listen.

My Gay Deli

I went to seminary at a very conservative, Baptist divinity school at Samford University, called Beeson Divinity School. There were a lot of great things about the school, not the least of which was the amazing faculty, who were (for the most part) very supportive of women in ministry.

BUT… there were students who were very conservative on the issue of women in ministry, and many times I was told, “You can’t be a minister! You’re a girl!”

So while I was in school, I worked as a short-order cook in a local deli. A gay deli. Every day I would go to work and a handsome, funny, gay man would say, “You’re gonna make a fabulous minister!”

It balanced things out for me, because the work you do in seminary is lonely. You do spend a lot of time thinking about your relationship with God, but you also spend a lot of time recognizing your faults. And while you can make some wonderful friendships, you also begin to get a taste of the criticism that the church holds for its servants.

I was telling a church member about my gay deli the other day. He’s in a PhD program at a local school. He grinned and said, “Richmond Mennonite Fellowship is my gay deli!”

If you’re looking for a church in Richmond, Virginia, I recommend Richmond Mennonite Fellowship. It’s welcoming, affirming, loving, peaceful, and thoughtful. Come visit. Drop me a message though this site, and I’ll give you directions.

I ♥ the Holy Spirit

“The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience!” ~ Emily Dickinson

Most of you, by now, know that Pentecost is my favorite day in the Christian year. There’s about reasons why I love it, not the least of is that it’s really the birthday of the Church. Another reason? I love the story, and the visual of tongues of fire and people speaking in tongues.

But mostly I love it because it’s an encounter with the Holy Spirit. More »