Rogue Reverend

Things I Wish I Had Learned at 24 (instead of 42)

Loving what you do is really important. But so is a paycheck.

Real, abiding love takes commitment and compromise, and is much easier to find and do before you become a crotchety old woman.

Boundaries are important, and you should always take your time learning to trust people. Make sure they deserve it.

A life ruled by “shoulds” is no fun, but a life ruled by “because I want to” is not too rewarding. Balance.

Love and partnership is important.

Acceptance and gratitude are the greater part of love.

Happy New Job

It’s been a while since I wrote on my blog, but tons of stuff has happened.

I interviewed with HIPS (Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive) in Washington, D.C. back in October for a position that wasn’t right for me. In late November, they asked me to interview for a different position. This one fit. And stuck.

January 4 was my first day as the Client Advocacy Program Manager at HIPS. HIPS’ mission is to assist female, male, and transgender individuals engaging in sex work in Washington, DC in leading healthy lives. Utilizing a harm reduction model, HIPS’ programs strive to address the impact that HIV/AIDS, STIs, discrimination, poverty, violence and drug use have on the lives of individuals engaging in sex work.

I’m so excited about the job. The people I’ve met have been warm and welcoming. I feel so grateful, first just to have a job, but especially to have a job I care about. Happy New Year!

Cultivating Gratitude: Money

One of my favorite assignments to give my pastoral counseling and spiritual direction clients, and even some of my coaching clients, is to keep a gratitude journal. I ask them to write down three things about which they are grateful, especially pertaining to their situations. So, if you’re frustrated with your spouse, write down three things each day that you are grateful for around them. Or, if you’re frustrated with you job, same thing: three things about your job that make you thankful.

Given that I love my job. And I love my home. And my friends and special people. What am I most unsatisfied with in my life?

You guessed it. Money.

So here’s my grateful list for this Sunday, and the topic is money.

I have never gone hungry, and always seem to have enough.

Waiting for luxury items makes me more appreciative when I get them.

I have a new pair of tennis shoes in my very near future!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Best. Newsletter. For Homeless Ministry. Ever.

My friend, Hugh Hollowell, of Love Wins writes:

Dear Friends,

Several weeks ago I sat in a room full of pastors from downtown churches in a forum called by the Raleigh Police Department. Ostensibly, it was to talk about how faith communities can properly secure their premises, especially in light of Martha’s murder a few months ago. The gist of the presentation was about church security - having your facilities well lit, etc. And then, they started talking about the homeless.

We saw pictures of dangerous criminals (their words), all but one of whom were black, as examples of the sort of people we should be watching out for. (Of course, most of the folks in the audience were white, so this played with their stereotypes perfectly.) Then they presented us all with trespass letters, which, if signed and placed on file with the police, would give them permission to arrest folks found on their property after hours. The entire presentation built to this, and you got the feeling this was the whole reason for the meeting.

There aren’t near enough shelter beds. If you are unhoused and needed a safe place, you might think about going to sit out of the rain under the awning at the corner church. Especially since the church is closed so you won’t scare any of the rich white people who attend there. If you thought this way you wouldn’t be alone. There are several churches downtown where friends of mine sleep - behind their dumpsters, in the shrubs, under the awning. Because it is well lit, clean and generally safe.

The police work for the city, which makes revenue from developers, who sell houses to rich people who do not like seeing homeless people. So the police are under a lot of pressure to “clean up” the homeless problem. The police are frustrated by the churches that have allowed people to sleep on their grounds. So, the police scare the daylights out of the church leaders, throw Martha’s death in the mix, show some scary pictures of black men and convince a goodly number of the downtown churches to put up no tresspassing signs, enabeling the police to act on those tresspass letters they wanted us to sign.

The presenters assured us they did not want to interfere with our mission - they just wanted us to help them keep us ’safe’.

I was the only one who stood up and said that our mission does not call for us to be safe - it calls for us to show extreme love and radical hospitality. I asked the people, preachers and police alike, the following question: If you are tired and hungry and alone and have no home and no hope - if you cannot go to the church, where should you go?

No one had any answers to that. The police officer told me he understood, but that was not his job.

But it is my job. It is our job. To extend grace and love to the other. Not to put up signs to keep people who don’t look like us away.

So I have spent the last few weeks telling my friends who sleep outside that churches are not safe places anymore. That the No Tresspassing signs mean they will be arrested. And when they ask me where they are supposed to go if they can’t go to church, I tell them I don’t know. And when they leave, I cry.

Love Wins. Always.

Homosexuality: A Sermon

I’m doing a series at church on Romans. Last Sunday, I preached on Romans 1:18-32. Normally, I put the text up on this site. However, I am not writing a manuscript for this series. I’m preaching off the cuff. So, instead, I’m putting up the recording of the sermon.

The sermon opens with me say, “Homosexuality. I’m for it.” First I recap the bad news about our treatment of homosexuals. Then I remind everyone that 1) we can’t make Paul say what we want him to say (ever), and 2) Paul would have no concept of homosexuality as we know it now, as a way of being (as opposed to an act). The Romans passage, I maintain, is not really about homosexuality at all, but, according to Tyler Wigg Stevenson, about hyper-sexuality. And that hyper-sexuality is not cured by more sex. Then there’s good news!

Go listen! Lia Scholl, sermon on Romans 1