Rogue Reverend

The Art of Preaching

Preaching is hard.

Yeah, yeah, I hear all you non-preachers out there playing your little “world smallest violins.” But it really is hard. The reasons are numerous, but maybe I should enumerate them:

You can’t please all the people all the time.
Sometimes the things you have to say are hard for people to hear.
Sometimes you get to Sunday morning, and there’s no inspiration.
Coming up with something fresh, over and over, is difficult.
Sometimes life gets in the way of spending time on your sermon.

And while it’s good to go hear other preachers for inspiration, it’s really difficult to get better at preaching. It’s an art. Education helps. But what we really need is a preaching coach.

One of the biggest questions I ask preachers is, “How do you tell if you’ve given a good sermon?” Some will talk about the response after the sermon, at the door, as people are filing past the preacher. However, I find this time to be awkward. People don’t know what to say to the preacher as they’re passing her. The only way that I really count the, “Good sermon, preacher” as people walk through the receiving line, is if they say, “I loved it when you said, ‘XYZ.’ That got me where I needed it.”

Others will talk about just feeling a response. When you use humor and emotional stories, sometimes you can tell that folks are connecting with your sermon. Sometimes you see tears. Sometimes, people fall asleep. Sometimes in the same sermon.

The most lasting way I judge sermons is this:

If someone contacts me about the sermon later in the week, or someone references it the next week or so. When the words really hit home, people remember them.

Leaving Sex Work

Yeah, I know, I didn’t really LEAVE sex work, since I wasn’t exactly in sex work. But in some ways, I was…

I announced that I was leaving Star Light in the end of December, although I actually resigned from my position in late October. So now I’m technically 6 months out of it. I wish that leaving sex work was linear and that I could name for you all the process that you go through, but it’s just not that easy.

But there are a few things that I’ve gone through that seem to be similar to leaving sex work. These are the things that I have gone through:

Attention from men seems annoying, at best.
Tolerance for said attention is nearly gone.
I have a lot of fear about going “legitimate.” Will anyone want to hire me?
Finding fulfillment in my work is difficult. I miss sex work!
It’s easy to get drawn back in. (I’m still doing stuff!)
I miss the community.

What’s your experience?

The New Economy, What Do You Need?

Are you feeling the pinch of this new economy?

As a minister, I’m constantly thinking, “What do people need?” Do you need opportunities to network? Encouragement? A new outfit for an interview? Resume help (or even just to figure out what keys fix the word resume). Or do you just need to know that you’re not alone?

I know, I know, you’re all thinking, “I just need money.”

Well, you’re not getting that. So, what exactly do you need?

What Does Money Mean?

The worst part about the new economy: if money determines our worth, then we’re all in trouble!

I love this post from Chelsea G. Summers at pretty dumb things. And, by the way, if you’re not reading her blog, you really should. She rocks.

Chelsea writes:

Reviewing my past week, my feelings of wafer-thin vulnerability, my spiraling feelings of loss, my cringing self-doubt, and my choices on how to take care of myself, I wonder what it is I think I’m worth—or not. I feel a tremendous burden of shame over screwing this money poodle so badly, a burden that’s probably disproportionate to paying $135 in overdraft fees. That’s because money, how much there is, how easily I make it, where it comes from, and what I spend it on is such a potent symbol for how I view myself. I’m probably not much different from anyone else in that respect. It’s one of the reasons why we are so reticent to share the crunchy numbers with others, and why we ask what something costs in lowered voices, the voice we usually reserve for sexually transmitted diseases and madness.

I’m going to be a Pollyanna and see my willingness to show my shameful pecuniary panties in public, my choice to air them out and scrutinize my financial skid marks, as a sign that maybe I’m starting to change. Maybe I’m becoming someone who can see herself as being both worth more and more worthy of better care.

I’m going to follow Chelsea G. Summer’s lead, and recognize that my worth is not in my checkbook. And that I am successful regardless of what’s in my savings account. I’m going to remember that I value something more than money.

And I hope you do (will!) to!

Anam Cara

I decided today to get the website active, whether or not it’s ready. Why? Because I miss blogging. Many interesting (to me, at least) strands in the tapestry of my life have been threaded this week, and I just need somewhere to say it.

First, on the job front. I’m still wondering what’s next for me, following Star Light. I live in this strange dichotomy: the feeling that I’m supposed to preach, and the struggle that I really don’t like the institutionalized church. Not a whole lot of preaching that takes place in the corporate world.

Second, on the calling front. Are calling and job different? Well, yeah, perhaps. My friend Mart says that we should follow Paul’s (notice the shivers going up my spine) example and be tentmakers. From Acts 18:2-3, “Paul went to see them, 3and because he was a tentmaker as they were, he stayed and worked with them.”

A friend recommended that I begin to see myself as an Anam Cara:

In Celtic Spiritual tradition, it is believed that the soul radiates all about the physical body what some refer to as an aura. When you connect with another person and become completely open and trusting with that individual, your two souls begin to flow together.

Should such a deep bond be formed, it is said you have found your “Anam Cara” or soul friend.

Your “Anam Cara” always accepts you as you truly are, holding you in beauty and light. In order to appreciate this relationship, you must first recognize your own inner light and beauty. This is not always easy to do. The Celts believed that forming an “Anam Cara” friendship would help you to awaken your awareness of your own nature and experience the joys of others.

The “Anam Cara” was originally someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the “Anam Cara”, you could share your innermost self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an “Anam Cara”, your friendship cut across all convention, morality and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the “friend of your soul”. The Celtic understanding did not set limitations of space or time on the soul.

This art of belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship. When you love, you open your life to an Other. All your barriers are down. Your protective distances collapse. This person is given absolute permission to come into the deepest temple of your spirit. Your presence and life can become their ground. It takes great courage to let someone so close. Where a friendship recognizes itself as a gift, it will remain open to its own ground of blessing….. When you are blessed with an “Anam Cara”, the Irish believe, you have arrived at that most sacred place: home. This bond between friends is indissoluble: “This, I say, is what is broken by no chances, what no interval of time or space can sever or destroy, and what even death itself cannot part”.

~ from “Anam Cara…Wisdom from the Celtic World“, by John O’Donohue

And third, on the money front. Can anyone teach me how to get paid to be an Anam Cara?

I’m glad to be back!